What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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