Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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