I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
vagina is talking i cant
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
