I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
