Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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