is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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