so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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