I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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