Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
