do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
