so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
