butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
