i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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