so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize