Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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