Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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