According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
be right there i have to get my cape
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
