I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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