you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
