he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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