THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
