the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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