why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
