That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
