He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nobody cheats on THIS.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
