ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just gargled with NyQuil
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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