apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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