i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
