Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
