I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
