i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
