The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
