Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
