Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
pray to the hookup gods
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize