I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
