my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
