so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
