Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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