The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
MIDGETS
????
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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