The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize