I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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