after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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