She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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