Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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