Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
