it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
