I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
