Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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