so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
