Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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