So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
