Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
