i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
