if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My vagina is officially offended.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
