It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
