right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
