he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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