C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
