...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
