it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize