DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
