Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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