you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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