it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she peed on how many people?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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