It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
