dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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